My Novena to the Holy Spirit ends tomorrow, and I plan to wear red to Mass on Pentecost Sunday, but I still feel like pre-Pentecost Peter-- lost and not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm in the desert, spiritually, once again, and it's no fun.
My prayers seem pointless. I am easily distracted during Mass, and I have to force myself to pray. I know that spiritual dryness is a good thing and that I'm being "purified" so that my faith can be more mature. Unfortunately, that knowledge doesn't make it any easier. What does make my time in the desert easier, is looking forward to the rain of grace that will eventually come if I persevere in prayer.
Since I am a veteran of the desert experience, I know that at some point I will feel God's grace come back into my life. Sometimes it is a gentle rain, other times it's like a fire hose. At those moments, I know without a shadow of a doubt that there is a God and that He loves me very much. That knowledge keeps me on my knees during that "dark night of the soul".
Related links:
I have a copy of Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross, but I haven't read it yet. I'm sure it will be enlightening when I can find the time. In the meantime, I found the articles at the link above for "spiritual dryness" very helpful and informative.
5 comments:
It is at times like this that prayers of praise to God are helpful, such as the Divine Praises: "Blessed be God...etc.," dwelling on each until you can can appreciate at least a little of what it means. St. Francis said that when he meditated on the Our Father he couldn't get past "Father" and the richness of that concept of a mighty God of infinite goodness being father (which means you are His daughter)...
I have been experiencing my own spiritual dryness lately and decided to post it on my new blog. I have a wonderful friend who has been praying for me, and she just gave me the link to this blog. I feel maybe God was working through her to let me know there are others who go through similar feelings (maybe not on the same scale). I will read the link you provided, thank you for posting this. My blog is http://hopegracefaithbelief.blogspot.com/ I'm not trying to promote it, so feel free to delete the link if you need to.
Thank you for your transparency because I have a friend going through something similar and felt she was all alone and I directed her to your blog and hopefully she will be able to see we all go through the desert but God sends others to help us through it and I will be praying and saying my Divine Mercy Novena for you.
FYI, always feel free to promote your blog, or Catholic-related business here. So many people have helped me, and I desire to do the same.
Anon 1, great suggestion.
Anon 2, I am praying for you and wrote a comment on your blog. Hang in there!
Elizabeth, thanks for your prayers and for caring so much about your friend.
Interestingly, this particular entry was not at all what I planned to write on Friday. I had a completely different topic in mind, and I suspect the Holy Spirit veered me off in this direction. I do try to keep my posts positive and uplifting, but I always appreciate bloggers who share their reality. It makes me feel a little less alone in my suffering, so I thought I'd do the same.
If you think about it, spiritual dryness is really a GOOD thing because it lets you know that you're making some progress in your spiritual life. Countless saints have spent plenty of time in the desrt, so you're in good company. Perhaps you can ask a favorite saint for inspiration to get you through these tough times.
Prayers for you Peggy!
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